Imagine

I feel like my imagination is lost.

It is a little bird trapped in a huge cage.

When you are in the middle, you cannot see the bars,

but as you fly in some direction the wall always stops you.

My little imagination cannot escape.

I know there is a door, but it is locked.

And I do not know where I can find the key.

Winds from Siberia

It is getting colder. The sky is clear. Faint sunbeams find their way to us.

I should be reading for my exams, but my motivation is already on holiday. So instead I decided to write something.

I have received an award from the dearest sara from we are dreamers (lovely new name by the way). Thank you! This little award is actually a little quiz:

What is your mood? I am feeling happy and stressed at the same time. I have two final exams before I can relax, but it is only two exams and after that I am free!

Where did you grow up? I grew up in a village of about 2500 people. Sometimes I miss the silence of countryside (well quite often actually). But I am going there on Wednesday, a little holiday trip.

What was your dream last night? I usually remember my dreams, but not the one I saw last night. Lately though my dreams have been about boat trips and water (and the boats have been anything but normal)

What is your favourite shop? My favourite shop is probably the local bookstore (and any bookstore for that matter). Another one that I truly love is a place where there are little boutiques full of dreamy and beautiful things (decorations, jewellery etc. which are made by local artists).

What is your hobby? I read and write and draw and paint and knit and photograph things. And dance when I am by myself.

What is your fear? I seem to fear too many things in life...

What is on your wish list? An affordable (and of course beautiful) flat.

Your friends? Mom is my best friend, she has always been there when I've needed someone.

Where do you want to be in six years? There are so many possible answers for this! I might even want to have a little family of my own at that time, living in a country house, animals and few children running around.

Your life? I am still learning to live it, but I'm close.

I am passing this on to:

Anji-jane of tatterbelle

and

Tira of Runaway moments (even though she's taking a break)

***

Lionhearted girl

I've had social anxieties for over six years. Sometimes my fears have been so bad that I haven't been able to go anywhere alone or without a panic attack.

Now the situation is much better and for most of the time the fears do not have control over me. I feel like I am in charge.

During this past few years I have done so many things I can be proud of (thanks to my lovely psychiatrist and some medicine). I have payed for my shopping, I have started studying and I have traveled alone, just to name a few. These sound like everyday things for a normal person, but for me these have been a huge problem.

On Wednesday evening I took a huge leap forward in my recovery. I went out with a new friend. I felt all the common symptoms of my anxiety before I left the house, but afterwards.... I don't think there are any words to describe how I felt. I was a winner, I was independent and for once I enjoyed being an adult (and could call myself an adult).

***

For some reason I felt like I wanted to share this.

I will be posting again soon, very soon.

<3

December dreams

It is December at last!

The long rainy week has turned into a frosty and sunny week. It is so nice to see the sun again, although it shines low and only a few hours during the day, but it makes me smile.

And Christmas is getting closer, I know it by the tingling feeling in my belly. Only two weeks and my holiday begins!

This morning has been the happiest in a long while. Lots of frozen puddles to walk through. Oh, how I love the crackle of the thin ice underneath my feet.

***

How did your December begin?

This, now

The weather is grey, the clouds are hanging low and it is raining. It has rained for the whole week, I am starting to wonder where the sun has gone. This weather has eaten the snow completely. So depressing.

***

I have been studying hard. Ecology and plants and scientific names of invertebrates. This has really taken all of my time and will do so until the middle of December. At times I sigh, but then I smile, because biology is so much fun.

***

The blue eyes are making me dizzy. They make me want to spend every moment at school. They make my heart ache when I'm at home. The drumming is still in my head and nothing has happened. Yet.

***

All of your comments have made me so happy. I give you a BIG thank you for leaving such lovely words! (Although I feel like I can't thank you enough sometimes).

Silence

Silence is a funny thing.

Someone might say that a silent person is somehow mystic.

But I say, there is nothing mystic about being silent.

You are silent when you have nothing to say, nothing to put into words.

You are silent when you know others won't be interested if you open your mouth.

You are silent, because that is just the way you are.

But - because there is a but - you are only silent to other people.

You are not silent to yourself.

A little bit of awesomeness

I received this award from Tira at Runaway Moments. Thank you so much dear! You are an awesome blogger too.

Apparently the rules are to share seven things about yourself that readers don't know yet.

And then to pass on this award to seven other awesome blogs.

***

1. I love Christmas. I love it when everything smells like Christmas (the food, the tree...)

2. I want to save the wolves in my country and I was even more inspired to take action by a book I read not long ago. (But wolves are not the only species I want to help or needs the help.)

3. I get awfully confused if things will not go the way I have planned. I need my routines to keep me stable.

4. My current music obsessions are Florence & the Machine and Mumford & Sons.

5. I feel terribly insecure most of the time.

6. I love to eat honey on toast.

7. I prefer tea to coffee (strong tea with milk).

***

Now I pass this on to

The Wild Wolves

raindrops and rosepetals

restless hearts

Pink Milk and Sugar Stars

button rose

Joanne May Illustration

owl in the dark

When I'm around you...

... this is how I feel:

It has to be magic

It started yesterday with big flakes and now it is up to my ankles.

Everything looks like something out of a winter fairytale.

Or have we been transported into Narnia or some other Winter Wonderland?


Now, in the daylight, everything is white. But in darkness! The colours change from different shades of pink into different shades of blue. It is so beautiful, you just want to eat the view with your eyes and stick it into your memories with permanent glue.
Oh, how I wish this would last...

Wolves

I read a book that took my breath away. Surprisingly I found the book from my mother's shelf, it hadn't been read in many years. I opened the first page, read the first sentence, the first chapter, I was mesmerized.

As I read forward I encountered sadness, fear, happiness and hope.

I entered a world so different from my own, yet in some way similar.

The book that I read was The Loop by Nicholas Evans.

Now my fingertips search for a new story to engulf me and teach me about life.

The picture from weheartit