Christmas is ever so near

These pictures are from where I lived as a child. Luckily my dad still lives there and I can visit all the memories. It was a very cold day (below -20 degrees celcius), but it was so lovely.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Imagine

I feel like my imagination is lost.

It is a little bird trapped in a huge cage.

When you are in the middle, you cannot see the bars,

but as you fly in some direction the wall always stops you.

My little imagination cannot escape.

I know there is a door, but it is locked.

And I do not know where I can find the key.

Winds from Siberia

It is getting colder. The sky is clear. Faint sunbeams find their way to us.

I should be reading for my exams, but my motivation is already on holiday. So instead I decided to write something.

I have received an award from the dearest sara from we are dreamers (lovely new name by the way). Thank you! This little award is actually a little quiz:

What is your mood? I am feeling happy and stressed at the same time. I have two final exams before I can relax, but it is only two exams and after that I am free!

Where did you grow up? I grew up in a village of about 2500 people. Sometimes I miss the silence of countryside (well quite often actually). But I am going there on Wednesday, a little holiday trip.

What was your dream last night? I usually remember my dreams, but not the one I saw last night. Lately though my dreams have been about boat trips and water (and the boats have been anything but normal)

What is your favourite shop? My favourite shop is probably the local bookstore (and any bookstore for that matter). Another one that I truly love is a place where there are little boutiques full of dreamy and beautiful things (decorations, jewellery etc. which are made by local artists).

What is your hobby? I read and write and draw and paint and knit and photograph things. And dance when I am by myself.

What is your fear? I seem to fear too many things in life...

What is on your wish list? An affordable (and of course beautiful) flat.

Your friends? Mom is my best friend, she has always been there when I've needed someone.

Where do you want to be in six years? There are so many possible answers for this! I might even want to have a little family of my own at that time, living in a country house, animals and few children running around.

Your life? I am still learning to live it, but I'm close.

I am passing this on to:

Anji-jane of tatterbelle

and

Tira of Runaway moments (even though she's taking a break)

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Lionhearted girl

I've had social anxieties for over six years. Sometimes my fears have been so bad that I haven't been able to go anywhere alone or without a panic attack.

Now the situation is much better and for most of the time the fears do not have control over me. I feel like I am in charge.

During this past few years I have done so many things I can be proud of (thanks to my lovely psychiatrist and some medicine). I have payed for my shopping, I have started studying and I have traveled alone, just to name a few. These sound like everyday things for a normal person, but for me these have been a huge problem.

On Wednesday evening I took a huge leap forward in my recovery. I went out with a new friend. I felt all the common symptoms of my anxiety before I left the house, but afterwards.... I don't think there are any words to describe how I felt. I was a winner, I was independent and for once I enjoyed being an adult (and could call myself an adult).

***

For some reason I felt like I wanted to share this.

I will be posting again soon, very soon.

<3

December dreams

It is December at last!

The long rainy week has turned into a frosty and sunny week. It is so nice to see the sun again, although it shines low and only a few hours during the day, but it makes me smile.

And Christmas is getting closer, I know it by the tingling feeling in my belly. Only two weeks and my holiday begins!

This morning has been the happiest in a long while. Lots of frozen puddles to walk through. Oh, how I love the crackle of the thin ice underneath my feet.

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How did your December begin?